Birth Parents Stories

Julie & Sean's Story

When we first discovered that Julie was pregnant, we had lots of questions about what we should do. We knew adoption was one option, but we really didn't know much about it. So we decided to contact Adoption Minnesota to get some information.

Julie was really nervous about calling, but the birth parent facilitator who took her call was very kind and understanding. She explained the process clearly and sent us written information. We loved our baby very much already, and we wanted the best for him, so we knew it would be a hard decision to find a family we could really trust to give him the best.

Several months later, Julie called to set up a meeting with the facilitator, Ruth. She was willing to meet us wherever we would be comfortable, so we chose a Perkins Restaurant near Julie's home.

Again, we were really nervous. Ruth put us at ease by explaining all our options, including parenting — she didn't assume we were already set on adoption. We decided to wait to look at prospective adoptive families until after Julie was finished with school in May. During this whole time, we never once felt pressured to rush, but we kept in contact with Ruth for questions and support.

When we were ready to look at families, Ruth helped us decide what type of family would be best for us. We discussed lots of issues and developed a list of the things we wanted in a family. In mid-May Ruth brought us about 30 Dear Birth Parent letters to look at, all from families who fit our list. Julie sat in her kitchen reading and reading. She narrowed the choices down to 10 families and then with Sean's help decided on 4 families to call.

Ruth helped us decide what questions we wanted to ask when we talked to these families on the phone and suggested some topics we could talk about. Although making those calls was nerve-wracking, we felt well prepared.

We decided we wanted to meet all 4 families, so we made arrangements to get together at various restaurants. We brought pictures of ourselves growing up and shared those with the families. It was Ruth's idea and a great conversation starter.

After these meetings, we spent a lot of time talking to Ruth about our final decision. She was a great help in bringing out what we thought were the strengths of each family and our feelings about them. Finally we decided on our adoptive family. It was a great relief! We had found a family we totally trusted and knew we would have a good relationship with, even after the adoption was completed. We then worked with Ruth to set up our plan of how the adoption would go including contact before the birth, at the hospital, and after the baby went home with the adoptive family. Ruth then let the adoptive family know what to expect.

When Julie went into labor, the adoptive parents came to wait at the hospital. Ruth came too and made sure things went the way we wanted. She was very sympathetic and always available when we needed her. It was especially great to have her there when the discharge took place because that was an extremely emotional day for us.

After Julie was back home, Ruth was available to us any time night or day. It was great knowing we had that kind of support. We have continued to have contact with Ruth over the months since the adoption was finalized. It is nice to know she will always be available to us to help us sort through all the emotions we have felt.

If you're considering adoption for your child, Adoption Minnesota is a place where you'll find support and comfort with people who really care about you. For the most important event in our lives so far, we couldn't have had a better experience!

Laura's Story

When I first found out I was pregnant, I was in the middle of my senior year of college. My boyfriend and I had been together for almost two years, but we both knew we were in no place to raise a child. I really didn't have any idea how to begin the adoption process, but I decided just to email a counselor at Adoption Minnesota. Beginning with the very first email, I knew this was the agency I wanted to work with.

Minnesota. Beginning with the very first email, I knew this was the agency I wanted to work with. Eventually, we scheduled an appointment to get the ball rolling. My counselor was absolutely nothing but wonderful from step one. She gave me all the information I ever could have needed, everything from explaining my rights as a birthmother to helping me find a doctor. She was incredibly available to help in any way, or just to chat. But most importantly, she always made me feel like I was making a good decision.

Then came the difficult part; choosing an adoptive family. I spent a lot of time looking through Adoption Minnesota's book of potential families. Each family had such a touching story, and I felt like each completely deserved to get a baby! Eventually, I developed a gut feeling about one family. I scheduled a meeting with them and walked away knowing they were the perfect choice. From there, the counselors at Adoption Minnesota helped us hammer out all the details. Together, we decided everything from when the adoptive parents would come to the hospital to how often I wanted letters and pictures after they took my baby home. My counselor always reinforced that I was in control of the situation and I could choose exactly how I wanted everything to go.

The adoptive parents and I emailed almost every day from that point on. We even met a few times for coffee. I loved getting to know them better, which only solidified that I had made the right choice. Finally, the day came to go to the hospital! The experience was the most amazing of my entire life. At one point during the day after my daughter was born, my counselor, the adoptive parents, my boyfriend, my baby and I were all in one room together. It truly felt like we were all one family. When you decide to give up your baby for adoption, you can't help but feel completely guilty. However, I knew that if I was going to bring a new little person into the world, she deserved to have the best life I could possibly give her.

Giving her to an adoptive family was the way for me to accomplish this. I've never loved anything like I love my daughter. However, I know her adoptive family will love her unconditionally and give her opportunities I never could have provided. I feel at peace with my decision. I never would have gotten through everything without the love and support of my boyfriend, the adoptive parents, and most importantly, my counselor at Adoption Minnesota

Erica's Story

I was about six months along when I decided adoption was the right plan. I knew that if I parented, I could not give my baby everything I wanted him to have. I also knew that if I placed him for adoption, I could give him the world. I recently talked to the adoptive parents, and they said all he does is giggle. At that point I felt like God had come down and given me a kiss because I had done something so wonderful.